


Fixation

by jjtaylor



Series: Fixation [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: Desperation Play, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Polyamory, Shame, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 05:49:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21502900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjtaylor/pseuds/jjtaylor
Summary: Matt has this look in his eyes when he goes in for the strike. “What turns you on more? Watching someone hold it? Or someone making you hold it?”
Relationships: Matthew Mercer/Liam O'Brien
Series: Fixation [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568971
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	Fixation

**Author's Note:**

> Let's remember to love each other and NOT show this to the cast. Practice good fandom boundaries!

Thursday night, after the game wraps, Matt catches Liam in the make-up room. He looks around, then leans close. “I’ve noticed,” Matt says, close to Liam’s ear, fingers just at the zipper of his jeans, “that you have a thing. About piss.” 

Liam hiccups a breath and Matt smirks. 

“It really crystallized listening to your one-shot,” Matt says. “There were just a few too many details about that NPC wetting themselves.” 

Liam’s shock is quickly slipping into defiance, but Matt has this look in his eyes when he goes in for the strike. “What turns you on more? Watching someone hold it? Or someone making you hold it?” 

Liam makes a squeak he tries to hide by clearing his throat. His eyes snap to Matt at the second part of the question, and even if he had answered the opposite, Matt would know which he really wanted . 

“Good to know,” Matt murmurs and then just walks off. Overdramatic, but it's the perfect moment for him to get away with it. Liam is just standing there, trembling. 

He’s hard on the way home, thinking about it. Thinking about what Matt might do with this new information. 

Thursday afternoon, Liam gets a text that makes his whole body go hot, and his heart speeds up it so much it makes his ribs ache. 

_Just so we’re clear, at the end, do you want me to let you go in the toilet or in your pants?_

They’re negotiating this. This is happening. 

Before he can talk himself out of it he texts back “not the toilet” 

_Alright then_ , Matt types and then after a moment, _I’ll ask you to clarify when we get closer_

Closer. Closer to the time when Liam has to piss and Matt tells him he can’t yet. Jesus fuck. 

The game is fast and he's deep in character and he heads to the bathroom on the break bickering with Travis. He catches Matt’s eyes, though, and remembers, but Matt says nothing as Liam goes into the bathroom. Liam has to concentrate on letting go before the piss comes out in a hot splash. He washes his hands, splashes some cold water on his cheeks and neck, trying to cool the blush. Just as they're chatting and getting ready to go back in, Matt hands Liam a bottle of water. It's not huge, but it's not one of those mini ones. 

“Drink this,” Matt says, and as Liam's about to take it with him into the studio, Matt grabs his elbow. “Now,” he says. 

Oh fuck. Matt watches as Liam drinks it all. Liam's already half hard. Shit, this is terrible, this is so fucking hot. 

The game is absorbing and tense, and it isn’t until he shifts in his seat, bladder feeling a little full that he fucking clocks Matt watching him. 

Liam has to scrub his face, and then he very firmly puts it out of his mind. He can almost - almost - focus entirely on the game, at least, as long as he doesn't look at Matt. 

Liam notices as they stand up, he has a really full bladder. He'd normally go straight to the bathroom as they left the studio, before chatting and deconstructing their mistakes, except – except he knows he can't. Matt doesn't have to tell him. Liam knows. 

He wonders, if he tried, if Matt would stop him, in front of everyone but - 

He looks up and Matt's watching him. 

As they're all filtering out and heading home, Marisha comes in to the make-up room, and kisses Matt's check, “See you later.” 

But it's Marisha, of course she can't help herself, and she raises her eyebrows at Liam. “Have fun!” 

“Shit,” Liam swears. “She knows, uh -” 

“She knows we're doing a thing tonight,” Matt says. Liam feels relieved – and god, he's hysterical because the word relieved makes his cock jump. “But I won’t tell her unless you want me to.” 

Liam nods, and then Matt is just staring at Liam, waiting. Liam finally has to shift the way he's standing to try to take some of the pressure off, and Matt grins, wolfish. He advances on Liam, ghosts a kiss over his lips, trails his fingers ever so lightly over Liam's cock, and then presses his hand against Liam's bladder. 

Liam squeaks. 

“How bad?” Matt asks, a whisper. 

“Bad,” Liam says. “But not, uh, not desperate.” 

“Not yet,” Matt says and Liam's sweating. “We should maybe move into the bathroom. Oh, don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten, but I don’t think anyone would appreciate us doing this in the studio.” 

“Yeah,” Liam says, though the idea of doing this in any kind of public space like that makes him a little giddy. 

Matt kisses him as the single person bathroom door swings shut, and Matt locks the door, before pressing Liam back against it. The slightest rocking pressure of Matt's hips against his and the fullness of his bladder brings him fully erect. 

“Oh look at this,” Matt says, hand cupping Liam's dick through his pants. “Hard to piss when you're this hard, isn't it? Do you get in the shower first thing in the morning? Fuck your fist in the hot water and then piss down the drain?” 

“Fuck,”Liam gasps. 

“I bet it's your favorite time to jerk off, with that full bladder waiting behind each stroke. Sometimes you've gotta go so bad, you wonder if you might squirt it all out before you come.” 

Liam whimpers. Matt has no right to be this good at dirty talk. Or to read Liam this well. 

“You know, you look thirsty, I think you need some more water. Here,” and he uncaps a bottle and brings it to Liam's lips. “Let me.” 

This is too fucking much, his eyes locked on Matt's as Matt helps him take sip after sip. “Oops, a little spilled down your chin. That happens sometimes, when there's too much.” 

Matt licks Liam’s chin, his neck, and then slowly backs Liam up against a wall to kiss him full and deep. And then because Matt's just that kind of fucker, he gets a leg between Liam's thighs and presses up. 

“Nnngggh,” Liam groans, and then rocks against Matt's leg, because the pressure feels good and then bad, dangerously bad. 

“We getting there?” Matt whispers against Liam's ear. 

Liam nods, cheeks burning. 

“So,” Matt says, just the way he does when he's about to lead them into some monster trap. “You said not the toilet. But not your pants.” 

Liam looks down, away. 

“Care to clarify?” Matt prompts. Liam swallows hard. It's not that he doesn't know, it's that – it's that what he wants is very fucking specific and he's not sure if he can ask for that. 

“This only works if you tell me what you want.” It's Matt's gentle voice. Neutral. Open. 

“Just – it's ok if this isn't what you want, I'm ok with something else, but - “ 

“Tell me, Liam,” Matt says, voice no longer neutral, voice edging on commanding. Liam shudders. 

He can say it but he can't look at Matt when he does. He looks over Matt’s shoulder, at the wall. 

“Your hand,” Liam says. “While you're holding my cock. Holding me until I can't - “ his voice catches and Matt nods. 

“I can do that,” he says and Liam goes through too many emotions all at once, reprieve, heat, lust, desperation, shame. 

“But first,” he says, and he has the water out again. Liam holds back a sound. Matt helps him drink the rest of the bottle, and then Matt kisses him again, mouth hot after the cold water. It's mostly psychological – drinking water with a full bladder always feels like such a power move, a belief in your own ability to hold it - 

Liam feels his cock twitch and he shifts. Matt's there with a tight grip. 

“You want me to get you off?” Matt says. “Or will it just all come spilling out, even if you're rock hard, because there's just so much?” 

Liam's breathing has gone ragged. His mind is static. 

“There's a lot in there, isn't there? You're pretty full. One of those start and stop streams, where it just kind of keeps coming.” 

Liam shudders. 

“Matt,” he says, because - because now he's getting desperate. His bladder's painfully full, and he wants – he wants to squirt it all out so badly. He doesn't ever let it get this far when he’s alone, because it's too – it's too much. 

“Come on,” Matt says, unzipping Liam's pants. “You can wait a little longer.” 

Liam kisses Matt hard, because he's so fucking turned on and he has to piss so fucking bad, he's afraid he's gonna let it go all over Matt as soon as Matt's got his hand on him. 

Matt pulls Liam’s cock out, tugs it hard. 

Liam moans. “Please.” 

“Please what?” Matt says, watching Liam's cock in his hand as he strokes it. “Please make you come?” He leans in closer, whispers, “Let you go?” 

Liam's whole body jumps. 

“Oh yeah,” Matt says, pumping Liam's cock with a steady rhythm, “You've got to piss so fucking bad, it's so hot to watch. All those little squirms you think you're hiding. The way your eyes go dark and a little panicky.” He rubs his thumb over the tip and it's wet, and Liams' not sure which thing it's wet with. 

“Matt,” he pleads. 

"Tell me,” Matt commands. 

"So bad, Matt,” Liam says, words fast and tripping over themselves. “I gotta go so bad, I can't wait, I can't hold it - “ 

“Yeah you can,” Matt says and pumps his cock hard and fast. “I'm gonna make you come first.” 

“I don't know if - “ His voice trails up and cuts off. He's not even playing, he's really not fucking sure what's gonna come out, his cock so confused with competing needs. 

Matt presses his other hand on Liam's belly, just on his bladder and Liam moans and comes – thank god, it's come splashing Matt's hand, getting on his pants. He shudders and moans and Matt's still holding on to his softening cock. 

“Oh god,” Liam says, aftershock fading fast with the pressure, all of that piss, needing to come streaming out, just like come, out of his fucking control. “Matt,” he hiccups. Matt strokes his sensitive cock, once, twice, and then – shame flushes Liam, making him dizzy as a short stream of urine splashes out, and he feels where it gathers in the palm of Matt's hand. Piss smells hot and sharp, and letting that squirt out just makes more want to come out, the heat of it warm in Matt's hand. Matt spreads it over his cock and Liam cries out as more surges out. 

“Fuck, fuck, I can't - “ he shouts, because he really can't, he can't hold it any longer. 

“Come on,” Matt says, low and throaty. “Piss all over me.” 

Liam's overcome – it's too much, he's waited too long. He doesn't even let go, it just happens, wave after wave spilling out. He groans with how fucking good it feels, finally, finally, such a fucking relief and then he's so sick with shame when he realizes his pants are soaked, his socks are soaked, Matt's fucking pants are soaked. 

“Oh shit,” Matt whispers but it's not scolding. He yanks at his pants and - jesus, using the hand wet with Liam's piss, he pulls his cock out and strokes it. Liam watches, dumbstruck, as Matt comes after barely a minute, come mixing with piss on both of their clothes. 

“Jesus fuck, Matt Mercer,” Liam says, collapsing against Matt's shoulder as they try and catch their breath. His face is burning and he feels so embarrassed he’s faint with it. “Shit, we need a towel.” 

“I brought some,” Matt says, soft, and fuck, Liam's heart is gonna melt. Of course Matt brought towels. Of course he's prepared. “You ok?” 

“Yeah,” Liam says. “I mean, I don’t – I'm overwhelmed and dying of shame, but yeah, I'm ok.” 

“I'll be right back,” Matt says, and Liam stands there, wet and trying not to freak out and a moment later, Matt's back with towels, and a stack of material that takes Liam a minute to realize it's a change of clothes for both of them, and a bag for the laundry. 

“How are you – how are you so good at this part, too?” 

“Aftercare's part of it,” Matt says gently. He helps undress Liam, and Liam almost swoons with fondness. 

“You're something special,” Liam says, and Matt catches his eyes, looks shy, looks surprised. Visibly struggles not to dismiss it, Liam can tell, and he's proud that Matt doesn't protest. 

“Sorry there's not a shower at the studio,” Matt says. Liam shrugs. The warm towel Matt has is doing a pretty good job for now. 

Once they're dressed, Matt guides Liam out of the bathroom. As they sit on the couch, Liam realizes he's trembling slightly, 

“Did you like it?” Matt asks. 

Liam nods. “I feel like I'm supposed to say no. I feel like – like the shame's supposed to make it less hot - “ 

“But it makes it more?” 

Liam nods again. “Makes sense to me,” Matt says. 

“Did you – uh, did you like it?” 

Matt looks at him, surprised. “You have any doubt? Liam, that was one of the hottest things I've ever been a part of. Watching you – god - “Matt swallows. “Watching you get so desperate, it was - I didn't know it would affect me so much. But, uh, yeah. Yeah, I liked it a lot.” 

After a moment, Liam says, “You can tell Marisha.” 

“No, it's ok, she understands that some parts of this are private.” 

“I wouldn't mind her knowing,” Liam says. 

“You mean you wouldn't mind her knowing or you want to involve her?” God, that neutral voice, it makes everything seem possible. 

Liam shrugs. 

“Ok,” Matt says, drawing out the word. “Good to know.” 

He puts his arm around Liam's shoulders and lets Liam rest there until his pulse stops pounding and his lightheadedness fades enough that he can stand. 

“Thanks,” Liam murmurs. “You didn't have to - “ 

“I like to give you what you want,” Matt says. And that's the thought Liam's going to carry all the way home.


End file.
